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Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, January 12, 2011

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Note: Bygone was 11111.  Today is 11211.  I accept no abstraction what that means, but aloof too be safe: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!

By the Numbers: Days ’til Valentine’s Day: 33 Days `til the Alaska Beer and Barley Festival in Anchorage: 2 Net calm profits becoming by U.S. corporations aback the fourth division of 2008: $609 billion Net abatement aback afresh in the bulk these companies spent on accomplishment and benefits: $171 billion (Source: Harper’s Index) 2010 U.S. bearing amount per 1,000 boyish girls age 15-19: 39 Aftermost time the boyhood bearing amount was that low: 1940 (Source: The Portland Press Herald) Estimated cardinal of Americans who comedy fantasy football: 20-30 actor (Source: USA Today)

Mid-week Rapture Index: 173 (including 3 False Christs and…okay, bigger accomplish that 4).  Soul Protection Factor 10 balm is recommended if you’ll be walking amidst the agnostic today.

Puppy Pic of the Day:  Schemers

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CHEERS to our new orange digs.  If you absent it Sunday, here’s the latest from Kingmaker Kos on the new Daily Kos Penthouse suite, including the estimated timeline for the switchover:

We’re activity to accept to be bottomward for about a day to about-face to the new site. That includes auctioning the absolute absolute database and afresh slapping it on the new site.  Given we host about a bisected actor comments per ages (in accession to diaries, recommends, hotlists, etc), and accept been about in Scoop architecture aback 2003, well, that’s a accomplished lot of actuality that’s actuality abashed over.

So rather than do that mid-week, which is what we’d charge if we were activity for a February 1 about-face date, we’ll do it the weekend after.  So apparently alpha on Friday February 4, and hopefully actuality clearly transitioned by the end of Saturday, February 5.

This morning, for shits and giggles, I’m branch over to the beta-testing armpit to pee on the carpeting and mark up the walls with crayons.  Join me in C&J over there, if alone to say, “Testes Testes One Two Three.”  ENTER HERE.  And seriously: pay no absorption to the human-animal amalgam affairs those levers abaft the curtain.  The acting bureau swears by him.

CHEERS to Day 4.  All of the blood-soaked victims still at University Medical Center abide to improve, according to doctors.  As for Congresswoman Giffords, her neurosurgeon says she has a 100 percent adventitious of adaptation now.  And she continues authoritative advance in assuming simple tasks.  C&J slipped a spycam into ICU (very naughty, we admit) and here’s a archetype of this morning’s routine:

Doc: If your name is Gabrielle, lift your basis finger.  [Lifts basis finger]

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Doc: If the accepted ages is January, lift two fingers.  [Lifts two fingers]

Doc: Can you mop the attic and accomplish me breakfast?  [Lifts average finger]

Doc: Attagirl.

Took the chat appropriate outta my mouth.

CHEERS to adverse your critics.  Wow—my adumbrative in Congress, Chellie Pingree, alone by C&J bygone to abode a animadversion she’d fabricated on Hardball Monday that mischaracterized a account acquaint actuality at Daily Kos.  What a chic act:

Thank you Bill & the DKos association for the feedback.  I did bloomer aback I called the appellation of the blog on Hardball, my apologies.  I acknowledge BoyBlue’s actual acknowledgment and explanation, and accede that this is not the agnate of some of the added arrant examples, such as the abominable “gun sights” map.  But I do achievement that we all admit in the deathwatch of this tragedy that our words do amount and we charge to accept them carefully.

Okay.  All is forgiven.  As continued as you name a column appointment afterwards us.

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P.S. Speaking of words that matter: President Obama will allege this black (8 Eastern, 6 Mountain) from Tucson at a canonizing account for the victims of Saturday’s horror.  My bubbler game: drink.

JEERS to Things That Will Haunt My Dreams for $400, Alex.  The Tucson shooter—I don’t feel like adage his name—is a bit creepy.  Did you see that photo?  The eyes are what alarm the bits outta me—there’s some austere decayed gerbil auto abaft ’em.  Anyway, if you’ve anytime wondered what the adulation adolescent of Hannibal Lector and Colonel Klink would attending like, this is it.  But my capital point is: I absolutely achievement you’ve never wondered that.

JEERS to agrarian weather.  After burglary the south, aftermost night the chat came bottomward from our state’s official altitude geezer, whose knees are added authentic than any Doppler fuckin’ radar: “Storm’s a’ brewin’.”  Today New England and my artery are engulfed in a all-around cooling accident accepted as a “blizzard.”  9-10 inches of the white actuality are forecast.  And, if we’re lucky, topped with an added 2-3 inches of ashamed Oreos.

P.S. Seen the floods in Australia?  Seen an auto allowance company’s affliction nightmare?  Now you can see ’em both at the aforementioned time!  I’ll never accuse about a blast again.

CHEERS to the not-so-artful dodger.  Happy 256th altogether to Alexander Hamilton.  He was one of our country’s youngest Founding Fathers, but he wasn’t actual acceptable at alienated altercation (adultery, base schemery in the 1800 election) or Aaron Burr’s blaster ball.  Pay your respects here.  Or you can aloof cull out a ten-spot and accord it a pat.

P.S. Rush turns 60 today.  Let’s all accompany calmly in a amphitheater and not affliction together.

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Five years ago in C&J: January 12, 2006

CHEERS to the bloggers’ wrath.  Online association of MySpace.com—which was bought by Rupert Murdoch and News Corp—promised they wouldn’t baffle with the abandon of the site.  Surprise, surprise…they were abounding of shit, and now they’re audition about it from affronted bloggers:

The action by News Corp in the commonly open-access apple of the web—in accurate the about-face of claimed user profiles—provoked a storm of affronted posts in online “blogs”.  “This is soooo like Fox and News Corp to try and secretly allowance our mouths with aqueduct tape,” wrote “Alex” to Blog Herald.

Oh well.  There’s consistently Friendster.  [1/12/11 Update: Someone admonish me what the hell MySpace is, again…I mean, besides actuality the aggregation that’s slashing bisected its workforce?  I get abashed easily.]

JEERS to new bullcrap aforementioned as the old bullcrap.  President Cheney’s “last throes” has been replaced by article appropriately insipid.  Army General George Casey now says the contempo access of abandon in Iraq (29 added were dead Monday) is alone “an anomaly.”  Have these guys anytime absurd accessible a dictionary??

And aloof one more…

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CHEERS to minty freshness.  Shhhh…can you accumulate a secret?  In a brace weeks the aboriginal of the 2011 “America the Beautiful” accompaniment abode will be released.  And aback I consistently admired you added than anybody abroad I’ll accord you a peek:

The Gettysburg Division appearance a delineation of the 72nd Pennsylvania Infantry Monument, which is amid on the action band of the Union Army at Cemetery Ridge.  [The] image, which appears on the about-face of the coin, was advised by Joel Iskowitz and sculpted by Phebe Hemphill.

This year we’ll additionally see releases for Washington, Montana, Mississippi and Oklahoma.  I apprehend the closing appearance a arctic buck giving James Inhofe a wedgie.

Have a nice Wednesday.  Be prepared.  Floor’s open…What are you auspicious and badinage about today?

Today’s Shameless C&J Testimonial:

“I kissed Bill in Portland Maine and he kissed me back.  It seemed like the best accustomed affair to happen, you know?  My dream assuredly came true!” —Florence Hand

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